elsas, ours is a hypocrite society,,,,,,,,,,,,,,advocates somethig does something else.............more or less people around are like this.........and the appropriate space for oneself has to be created by ourselves only...........very good write up...

elsas ji

You might have touched the hearts of those 'fat', ignored and neglected girls. Your sympathy with them is 'desirable'. For only a woman can understand another woman better. Nicely composed.

Zorba

I enjoyed reading your article, but I did find it a little seething.

I think it is unfair to single Indian society out for being castigating towards overweight women. In fact I could argue slender builts are more of a western fascination. The Indian man on the contrary is rather turned off by bony structures. Female movie stars of the sixties were quite plump or matronly. In fact Sridevi made "thunder thiighs" famous in the eighties sand till holds an iconic position among Indian males. I doubt much of that has changed even today.

I have not read matrimonial ads in India in many years, so I am not in the best position to comment upon them. However having browsed many singles sites in the US, I do come across ingenious ways women mask their body shape in their advertisements. Commonly used terms are "full-figured", "curvy", "few extra pounds", "big and beautiful", "thick", "stocky" and so forth.

The Indian woman can gracefully conceal an over weight body in a saree. They are definietly far more accepted in society. The travails of women not in suitable shape is far longer in Western nations. I suggest you take time to read them.

i think one must keep fit, be able to work physically,be robust and nice looking. a lot of slender women with a controlled diet are able to be that. fat is ugly both for men and women. flesh must be tight-for good health, youthfulness and long life. nothing can kill them..he..he.. ( iam exaggerating here!!

Jiski Bibi Moti Uska Bhi Bada Naam Hai.

Oh yeah....these ads are sick....

Dear Elsa,

Ur post is very eye catching....Yes I fully agree wid u in this matter...no matter how the groom is bt everyone wants their daughter in law to be flawless beauty who just work in accordance with their wishes and never demand anything for herself in return....I really liked the idea of the new advertisement and wish ppl could start implementing that in near future...Its the inner beauty which should matter and not the looks....Aren't fat gals beautiful...ppl today just don't want to come out of the set norms and standards of old days for choosing the brides...Its high time now when ppl shud come out of the old set norms and respect and accept every individual.

Thanx for diverting our attention towards this topic.
Regards,

Pooja

Dear Elsa,
Advs like the "slim,fair, homely and convent educated" are just like a template. Anybody who puts in an adv actually dont know what to write; because they dont know what they want either and to get a advt published in a popular classified cost a bomb! So most people resort to using the same words.. If they have to actually describe what they exactly want it will mean a empty pocket..  Neways I like ur take towards this issue but times are changing....If fact i have a coupld of my friends(men) who would seriously like to be "house husband" or rather the "home maker" husbands; But they always wonder if they have to put an advt for that they sure arent going to get response  So the matrimony advt are all totally for timepass - Sunday afternoon giggling with a group of frds.. doesnt make ne more sense 

Cheers!
Divya

 Yes the ads say a lot of things but ppl dont know what they want really. I have seen well built women with the right attitude attract a lot of attention ! As far as obesity is concerned, we all need to attack that

Santosh
need to lose weight

Very true... but 'unconventional' beauties will leave their mark. Don't we all admire Shabana Azmi, Smita Patil, Konkana Sen etal?