Has any one ever come across a book titled "Fat is a feminst issue- by Susie Orbach? I don't think anyone in India has ever come across this one. If anyone ever does kindly read it. This book released in 1978 looks at patriarchy and how it impacts the body image - of women and men. This fear of rejection by a boyfriend, husband propels women into dieting, slimming, and sometimes going to the extremes to conform to the male notion of a 'beautiful' woman. And of course rejection by a male in Indian society, especially in the framework of arranged marriage is something that not many Indian women look forward to. I know what you will say,  'India is changing,' 'It doesn't work that way now!' But ladies and gentlemen fat is always an unwanted guest, especially in an Indian drawing room were a boy and girl meet for the first time. 'Large' is a word never mentioned in Indian matrimonial columns. It is always 'Slim, fair, homely, convent educated,.' When will the Indian woman be released from this box labelled 'Slim, fair, homely, convent educated,?'

I have a problem with each word in the phrase. 
Slim: What is slim?? Aishwarya Rai in Dhoom Slim? ...But she looked the most pathetic and malnourished in that particular movie. She didn't seem to be herself at all. I must say the media has done a bad job, promoting aneroxic models as role models. Perhaps the advertisers mean someone who is already malnourished, so there is no problem if she has to starve sometimes after marriage.

Fair: What fair?? Someone who has given up a lovely velvetty dark complexion for a fair and lovely 'fair'?

Homely: This one probably means someone happy at home. or perhaps someone who comes back fter along day of work and gets into the kitchen to cook dinner for the whole family, while the rest watch tv.

Convent educated: I have issues with this. On one hand there is a wave of Hindutva sweeping the country. Many among the common man don't even know who is a Christian. ( I for one, have been asked a surprised "Aap Christian hain???, after it was made obvious by my name) and on the other everyone wants a convent educated bahu. Also convent education refers to school education. As I understand the level of education among Indian women is goes beyond just high school. Things can change 10 years after high school, unless someone wants a bahu who is just out of High school

I am not sure how many parents find grooms and brides for their 'fair and lovely' daughters and 'handsome five figure earning' sons. 

And how does the Indian society incorporate dark, large, broad shouldered women into its family. Why can't a matrimonial ad read:
Grooms wanted for: Tall, Large-built dark, adventurous, Delhi university educated girl.  what's wrong??? sounds just fine. Oh no but it doesn't create that image, that picture of a fair slim woman serving you tea early in the morning and speaking fluently in English to the delight of friends and relatives, thanks to 'convent education'.

It would take another fifty years for a matrimonial ad worded like this one to appear in the matrimonial columns of Indian newspapers. It will be a long time before Indian women women would be released from this mould. 

Till then large women will hide in the closet, except for those of the stature of Saroj Khan. Despite their education skills, intelligence, goodwill and good humour, they will always be advised to lose weight. so that they become 'desirable'. They will continue to suffer from depression and problems of self esteem, because some Indian male suddenly wanted her to become like Aishwarya Rai in Dhoom, which is much against the nature of her body.